SCOTS News

2 cans of fruit cocktail
1 apple, diced
1 orange, diced
1 banana, diced
1 bar of cream cheese- at room temp.
1 cup of mayonnaise

Drain fruit cocktail;reserving juice. Stir cream cheese to soften, add cocktail juice and mayo. Stir in fruit. Chill to set.

If ya want a frozen one, hit the 7-11 and get plain slurpee ice first, then mix equal parts slurpee, Dew & tequila.

One part Tequila or Vodka
Two Parts Sunny Delight
Splash of Robitussin cough syrup, NyQuil cough or DayQuil

Serve in a tall tumbler, or simply add the vodka/tequila and cough syrup to the Sunny D jug.

1 pound venison sausage (preferably something sweet)
1 small onion (diced)
2-4 cloves of garlic minced (pends on your taste)
salt
pepper
1 box giant pasta seashells
1 small tub ricotta cheese
1egg (beaten)
1 bag grated mozzarella
1 jar or can of your favorite spaghetti sauce

Put noodles in a pot of lightly salted boiling water. Let it come back up to a boil. Cook noodles until slightly firm but not mushy. Drain. Rinse with cold water and set aside.

Now put a touch of oil in the bottom of a skillet. Crumble your sausage into skillet. Add onion and garlic with a dash of salt. Cook until sausage is brown. Drain. Put sausage aside to cool.

In a big bowl combine the tub of ricotta, 1beaten egg, and a few dashes of salt and pepper. Mix until combined thoroughly then add the sausage. One everything is mixed we can get to stuffing.

Stuffing is so easy my dead grandma can do it. Just take a small eating spoon and put 1-2 spoonfuls in each shell. First though you want to get you a baking dish and put some spaghetti sauce down. Then as you finish stuffing each shell just place it in the baking dish. When all shells are in pour rest of spaghetti sauce over top. Then take your bag of Mozzarella and sprinkle (or smother) everything.

I like serving this with my cheap ass garlic bread. (cheap bakery loaf of Italian or French, spread with butter or margerine, topped with garlic powder, broil 1-2 minutes in oven)

4 cups cornbread crumbs
3 cups bread crumb
1 cup chopped celery
1 large Vidalia onion (chopped)
¼ lb. fried chicken livers (chopped)
2 14½ oz cans chicken broth
2 cups milk
2 eggs, slightly beaten
1 stick butter (melted)
1 tablespoon sage
2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. pepper

Combine broth, milk, butter, egg, sage, salt & pepper. Add to crumb mixture. Stir until crumbs are moistened. Heat oven to 350°. Grease 2 - 9½ x 13¾ pans. Spread batter evenly in pans - Bake for 1 hour.

Notes: Save heels from loaves of bread & keep frozen 'till needed. Leave the bread out & let it dry, then crumble into coarse crumbs. I always buy the fried chicken livers already cooked from a local Clock restaurant. A triple order provides extra to keep the cook happy while working.

Peanut Butter and Bacon Sandwich

Fry up 4 or 5 slices of bacon for every sandwhich you would like to make, crispy or not, whatever you like, make some toast, spread with peanut butter add bacon and serve with a glass of milk. Serving warm is better.

Pizza Soup

Ingredients:

1 pack oriental curly noodle soup
1 can tomato soup
pepperoni (any left over meat will do)
oregano
mushrooms (canned are ok)
green pepper
pepper

Cook noodles in tomato soup adding water called for by both soup mixes, add all other ingredients (lots of pepper and oregano), serve when hot.This recipe can be made with as many variations as there are kinds of pizza. Enjoy (created one night when I came too early and partied too late).

From the kitchen of
Craig the Martian

Banana and Strawberry Puddin' Cake

1 box white cake mix.
1 big box Jello instant banana puddin'.
1 box of strawberry Jello.
Whipped Cream.

Make the white cake mix as instructed on the box.
Let the cake cool a lil' bit then poke holes all throughout the cake with anything pointy you have layin' round'. Spraying it with pam helps it not stick to the cake.
Make the Jello as instructed but instead of cooling pour it all over the cake slowly letting it seep into the holes.
Let cake cool completely in the fridge..be patient its worth it!
Meanwhile make Banana Puddin' as it says on the box.
When your cake is nice and cold take it out and top it with the puddin' then with the whipped cream.

Other optional toppings: Granola,fresh banana,Strawberries or other fruits. Basically whatever you like.

MINCEMEAT DISH
Ingredients:
1 lb Hamburger
1 roll "Hot" Breakfast Sausage
1 jar Mincemeat
1 Ground Ginger

Brown hamburger in skillet. Pour off any fat. Put in bowl. Take breakfast sausage out of plastic sleeve and brown. Pour off any fat. Add to bowl with hamburger. Sprinkle ginger on meat. Stir together. Add the jar of mincemeat and mix all together well. Sprinkle with ginger to taste. Serve warm as a side dish.

Taco To-Go, aka "walking taco"
Ingredients:
1 small bag of your favorite flavor of Doritos
1/2 cup shredded cheese
1/2 cup shredded lettuce
1 tablespoon of sourcream
1 tablespoon of salsa

Without opening the bag, lightly crush the Doritos. Cut a slit longways down the seam of the bag, so that you open it into a "pouch." Add all of the ingredients and stir. All ingredients are optional and you can add any other toppings that you'd like. This is a great snack to send your kids to school with.

From Aami in Savannah, GA

South Mississippi White Trash Drankin' Food stuff
1 lb. pkg Weiners, sliced to 1/4" thickness
1 TBSP Bacon Grease
1 can Pork and Beans
1 can Corn
1/2 slab Velveeta cut into 1/2" cubes
1/2 cup diced onion
2 TBSP Mayonaise
Hamburger or hotdog buns

Fry sliced weiners in bacon grease until slightly browned.
Add can of Pork & Beans; add can of Corn. Stir until well-mixed.
Simmer 10 minutes.
Add Velveeta.
Simmer until Velveeta is melted.
Stir in onion and mayonnaise, mix well.
Serve on buns, biscuits, cornbread, saltines or just in a dang bowl.
Ummm good and always better after midnight.

From Ferg

Tea's Cornbeef Salad Sandwiches
Ingredients:
1 can Libby's Cornbeef
mayo
relish (sweet or pickled)
celery

Open up your can of corn beef and plop it in a microwave safe dish. Nuke it for about 2 minutes. When it done add at least 2 huge spoonfuls of your favorite mayo. I like the Blue Plate. Stir all that together until it is all mixed in then add 1-2 tablespoons of relish and 1 stick of celery diced. You can add pepper, garlic, or paprika ifen you want but you don't need to add salt cause the corn beef is plenty salty. Mix that all up then smear on your fave bread. Usually makes 3 sandwiches worth.

Bologna Cups
This hearty meal goes well with sports.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Line a muffin tin with bologna slices (red ring removed).
Crack an egg into the center of each bologna cup.
Sprinkle each with salt and black pepper.
Bake until firm.

Add a slice of American cheese to each cup and bake until melted or you can broil cheese.

Buttermilk Biscuits
These biscuits are light and tangy. Try using them to top a fruit cobbler. Just add 1/2 cup sugar to mixture. Place biscuits on cobbler when the fruit starts to boil or the last 15 minutes of baking. Sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar.

Preheat oven to 500 degrees

Sift together
2 cups all-purpose flour (Lily White brand if you can get it)
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt

Take a cold stick of real butter and chip it up with a paring knife into your flour mixture. Take your fingers and blend the butter into the dry ingredients breaking the butter up as you mix. You want the mixture to be crumbly. These biscuits need to go into the oven chilled. Place back into the fridge for about 10 minutes or the freezer if you need it quicker.

Stir in 1 cup buttermilk only until wet. You don’t want to overwork because your biscuits will be tough. Flour your hands and hand-form biscuit quickly. Mixture is sticky so you won’t get smooth round biscuits. Just plop some down on the cookie sheet and throw them in the oven. Put the remaining mixture back in the fridge if you are doing two batches. Cook for 8-10 minutes in 500-degree oven.

Some people think catfish taste like dirt. That’s a matter of opinion. But round here I’ve heard it said, if you’re gonna eat fish, you gotta taste a little bottom. The best catfish is caught locally but don’t let that stop you from trying the farm-raised kind because both are a cheap alternative to pork.
Depending on how thick your catfish is, leave whole or cut up into 2-inch pieces for catfish fillets.

Lay out catfish in shallow pan and cover with buttermilk.

Mix 1 cup yellow cornmeal
1/4 cup self-rising flour

1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon garlic powder
Salt and pepper to taste
Sift dry ingredients together, lick finger and taste, add salt.

Beat an egg well in medium size bowl.

Preheat oven to 350 to keep catfish warm after frying. Heat about 1/2 inch vegetable oil in heavy skillet to medium high. With a fork take a piece of catfish from your buttermilk and dip into egg followed by the dry mix. Place in hot oil. Repeat and cook each piece about 2 minutes a side. As you take them out place onto a brown paper sack. When you are finished frying, slide catfish from paper to a cookie sheet and place in the warm oven. When you’re finished fixing the rest of supper, pull catfish out and plate it up. Feeds 3-4 people and goes well with mustard greens, coleslaw, and tobasco sauce.

These thin, crispy, cornmeal pancakes can be eaten with any meal. I grew up watching my Great Aunt fry them up in a cast iron skillet. My cousins roll up leftover bacon in hoecakes and stuff them in their camo pockets to eat while they’re out hunting. They won’t spoil like bologna or mayonnaise.
To start you, need bacon drippings. If you’re not saving your bacon grease, you should. Keep it in the fridge and scoop out a spoonful as needed. If you want to keep fairly large quantities available for frying, cook down a couple of pounds of fatback or bacon slowly on low heat. This will take a while but it makes the house smell good. Pour your grease through a metal strainer and store it in the fridge. It will last two weeks. Leaving nothing to waste - take the bits or cracklin', and stir them into your corn bread batter. I prefer cracklin' in the salty, firm kind of cornbread.

Mix 1 cup yellow cornmeal
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt and 1tsp black pepper
Combine with a whisk or shift together.

In a separate bowl mix
1 cup buttermilk
1 cup milk
1 beaten egg

Whisk together wet and dry ingredients. Mixture will be thin. Place about a tablespoon of bacon drippings in the bottom of a heavy skillet and heat to medium high. Using a gravy spoon or ladle, make your hoecakes like you would regular pancakes. Watch your heat and adjust to avoid burning. I like to eat these cakes with molasses in the morning or to sop up beans at dinnertime.

Rice pudding can usually be made without going to the store. Most people make this recipe from leftover rice. When hard times hit, omit the raisins.

In a deep pot on real low heat add
3 cups cooked white rice
4 cups whole milk
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
Stir frequently for about 45 minutes until thick.

In separate bowl whisk together
4 egg yolks
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon cinnamon or nutmeg

Take rice mixture off the heat and stir in eggs and flavorings along with 1/2 cup raisins.

Pour into a buttered 9 x 9-inch baking dish and place in oven for about 35 minutes or until firm. Cool and serve sprinkled lightly with more cinnamon.

2 slices of Wonder Bread
Marshmallow Fluff as required
powdered Tang drink mix as required
Spread a thick layer of Marshmallow Fluff on a slice of Wonder Bread. Sprinkle enough powdered Tang on that slice so as to completely cover all evidence of Fluff. Then spread a layer of Fluff on the other slice of Wonderbread. Press the two slices of bread together and voila: a delicious Tangwich! The perfect accompaniment to this meal would be rehydrated Tang but Sloe Gin & Coke will always do nicely as well.

1/2 dozen thick-cut slices of baloney cut into pieces
1/2 dozen eggs, beaten
1/4 block of Velveeta, chunked up
Fry baloney to desired crispness. Toss beaten eggs into frying pan and scramble along with baloney. Toss in Velveeta at the very end to melt. Serve with biscuits.

2 ham hocks
1 sweet onion
4-5 lbs. collard greens
2-3 cups of water(enough to barely cover greens)
Bring the ham hocks to a boil. Turn heat down and simmer for about an hour. Destem greens and add them to the pot. Let the greens simmer for a couple of hours. Serve with vinegar and onions. Collards are always best the second day.

1 half bottle of Makers Mark BBQ Sauce
1 shot of Makers Mark
3 tablespoons of A-1 Steak Sauce
1 tablespoon of Tabasco Sauce
2 tablespoons of Franks Louisana Hot Sauce
1 teaspoon of mustard
3 tablespoons of honey
1 tablespoon of brown sugar
1 teaspoon of lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon of Liquid Smoke
Stir well and spread on baby back ribs.

1 oz. ground coffee (not brewed)
2 cigarettes worth of tobacco (mediums)
1 can of Mountain Dew
Shake and drink. Do not regurgitate.

2 pounds diced chipmunk (the legs are most of the meat but the breast is good if you have the patience)
minced garlic
chopped onion
hot peppers
Guinness stout
butter
hot pepper flakes
chicken or possum stock
peeled and quartered potatoes
This actually tastes a lot like chicken (but still with a difference). It's best made with Rocky Mountain chippers(East Coast chippies are too small) and perhaps served with a nice Sauvignon Blanc. Marinate the chipmunk meat in the garlic, onion, hot peppers, and Guinness. Saute in a skillet with butter, pepper flakes, and salt. Cook quickly until browned. Deglaze the skillet with the stock and put it all into a large saucepan or stockpot along with the marinade and the potatoes. Cover and bake at 275 degrees for two hours. Remove from the oven and, in a separate pan, reduce whatever marinade is left and whisk in six ounces of additional butter. Combine reduced marinade with chipmunk meat and serve.

-1/4 lb of chipped ham
-1 cup BBQ sauce
-1/4 cup of Pepsi
-4 slices of Wonder Bread
Fry up chipped ham in a skillet. After edges of the ham start to get crispy, add the BBQ Sauce and Pepsi. Mix until everything is heated up and steam is rising. Place chipped ham between 2 slices of Toasted Wonder Bread. This recipe is for 2. Recommended side dish is Potato Chips.

1 cup of Meyenberg Evaporated Goat Milk. (If you use real goats milk, use 1/2 cup goat's milk with 1/2 cup whole milk)
2 cups sugar
1 tablespoon butter
1 cup peanut butter
Mix together the milk and sugar in a cooker. Butter a plate or dish to place the finished product. Bring to a boil. To check for doneness, place a saucer of cold water nearby. Place a drop of the mixture in the saucer of cold water. When done, the drop will form a ball and you can pick up. Next, add butter and peanut butter. Take off heat. Stir quickly and carefully pour the mixture in the buttered dish. Let stand to cool. * I have no recipe for chocolate fudge. I made it once but it tasted AWFUL!!! Peanut butter seems to be the way to go!

Venison
Smoked Bacon Ends
Garlic or Sage
Sausage Casings
Cube venison and smoked bacon ends in equal parts. Smoked bacon ends may be found at just about any butcher shop). Grind, alternating venison and bacon ends. After grinding, spread out meat and add seasoning. You may season with garlic, sage, or any sausage seasoning you desire. Most butcher shops sell packages of sausage seasonings. After seasoning, knead the meat. Then, with stuffing attachment on grinder, stuff into casing in desired lengths. You may also make sausage patties. Wrap in butcher paper and freeze until ready to smoke. When ready to smoke, place sausage in smoker at 200F and smoke 2-3 hours until done.

1 (20 oz.) can crushed pineapple
1 (30 oz.) can cherry pie filling
1 box cake mix (white, yellow, or spice work best)
1 cup chopped nuts
1 stick of butter
Open can of crushed pineapple and dump contents (as is - do not drain out the juice!) into a greased 9x13 baking dish, spreading it evenly. Open can of cherry pie filling and dump contents of that on top of the crushed pineapple, also spreading it evenly. Open box of cake mix, and spread it evenly over the top of the other stuff, and put the nuts on top of that. Cut up stick of butter and lay slices evenly over the top. Bake at 350 for 1 hour.

1 pound banana chips
1 box capt crunch peanut butter crunch
1 large wooden tiki carved salad serving ware (preferably wooden carved with tiki idols)
Pour 1 lb of banana chips into large serving bowl. Add 1 box peanut butter crunch. Stir with large salad serving fork and spoon. Serve (best eaten by hand). Optional: Add one pound of dried pineapple chips for a greater luau effect.

1 can of tuna (don't get the oil packed stuff, it's greasy)
1 medium yellow onion
2 tsp. minced garlic
2 tbsp. mayo (or what passes for mayo these days)
4 tbsp. or more (as much as you can stand, actually) Beaver, Cream Style, Horseradish
Get a fairly big bowl. Dice up the onion, add the garlic and tuna, and mix with a fork. Add the mayo and horseradish. Don't get cheap on the horseradish either; more is ALWAYS better. Mix again and add pepper if you like. Let stand for a half hour or so (if you're patient) to let the flavors mix. This type of tuna salad is not recommended for sandwiches. It goes real good on most kinds of crackers, especially Rye Crisps. For a treat, blanket a 10-inch flour tortilla with a bed of baby spinach leaves and spread tuna salad on top, roll it all up, and fire away!! Suggested wine: Burgundy. Bone Appeteat!

1 pound hamburger, cooked up with 1 small onion and salt
1 pound tater tots (still frozen)
1 can of cream of ___________ soup (mushroom, chicken, asparagus, whatever,
condensed, undiluted)
2 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese (or Velveeta)
Mix it all up in a casserole dish, saving 1/2 cup cheese/ Velveeta for the top. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes. YUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYY!!!!

1 Part cheap beer
1 Part chocolate milk
Fill your favorite frosty mug half full of your favorite bargain brand brew. Top it off with the chocolate milk. Savor the creamy head. Goes great with Bacon Meatballs.

1 lb. ground beef
1 Tablespoon Salt
1 Teaspoon Pepper
2 Tablespoons steak sauce (or the closest thing you can find)
5 Slices of bacon

Toss everything except the bacon into a bowl. Mix it up real good. Shape this mixture into small balls (1" or so wide). Wrap that there bacon around the balls and fasten with a toothpick or twig. Slow cook 'em in a skillet until good n' done. Serve with crackers or white bread soaked in ball juice from skillet.

1 Possum
1 Pot boiling water
1 Handful chestnuts
1 Handful apple sauce
1 Handful breadcrumbs
1 sweet potato
1/2 Cup lemon juice
1/4 Cup butter

Skin Possum, remove glands and entrails. Scrape clean and scald in boiling water. Rub inside and out with salt and pepper and set in a cool place. Stuff with chestnuts, applesauce, and bread crumbs in equal proportions. Cover with slices of sweet potato, 1 C. Boiling water, 1/2 C. Lemon Juice. Bake in butter and baste often until tender.

16 oz. Cool Whip
1 small box instant chocolate puddin'
1 15 1/2 oz. crushed pinapple
1/2 cup pecans, or what ever nut you like
Mix together and put frosting between layers.

1 box milk chocolate cake mix
4 eggs
2/3 cup oil
1 can mandarin oranges
Beat all ingredients together. Grease 3 cake pans (9 inch); divide batter evenly. Bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes or until done.

2 thick slabs of baloney
2 pieces of Wonder Bread
2 Tbsp. (just a suggestion, use as much as you want)
mayonnaise/peanut butter
1 can mandarin oranges
Beat all ingredients together. Throw yer baloney into the deep fryer. Cook until crispy, but not too crispy. Coat your bread with mayonnaise or peanut butter (if you use peanut butter, make sure you got a big 'ol glass of milk. She can get purty dry). Slap the baloney down on the bread and yer in for some good eatin'!

6 servings of grits (prepared - NOT INSTANT)
1/2 pound of bacon
2 eggs
salt & pepper
Prepare grits the night before as per instructions on package. Pour them into 9" square brownie pan and place in fridge overnight. Consume alcohol. The next morning, fry 1/2 pound of bacon in iron skillet and retain hot grease. Consumption of bacon optional. Break eggs into mixing bowl and scramble thoroughly, sprinkling generously with salt & pepper. Remove grits from fridge (they should be in solid form) and cut into approximately 3" squares. Dip grits squares into scrambled eggs and fry in bacon grease on medium heat until egg coating is golden brown and crispy around edges. Serve with sliced ripe tomatoes smeared with Miracle Whip and your favorite breakfast beverage.Put on "Plastic Seat Sweat" and turn up real loud.

1 ( 7 oz. ) can of spam
2 hard-boiled eggs
1 teaspoon chopped dry onion
2 tablespoons dill relish
1/4 cup miracle whip or mayo
1/2 cup velveeta cheese, cubed
4 hamburger or hot dog buns
dump spam and hard-boiled eggs into a bowl. Mash 'em with a fork. Then dump in the onion,relish,mayo and cheese. Stir it up and fill the buns with the mix. Wrap 'em up in aluminum foil and put 'em on a baking sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes - 'til the cheese is melted. Makes 4 servings - unless one feller is a pig and eats 'em all.

box of graham crackers
canned vanilla frostin'
sugar cubes (blocks if you kin find 'em)
sugar
fancy colored candy
busted hot wheels car
toothpick flag
Cracker Outhouse (optional)
Break a graham cracker in two to use fer the trailer ends. Spread a bunch of frosting out on a plate or other flat non-livin' surface and sprinkle with sugar. Stick 4 sugar blocks in the frosting where the graham crackers can stand on 'em. Frost them tops of the cubes. Frost them cracker edges and stick lengthwise on top of the frosted sugar cubes, joinin' em glue-like at the frosted edges. Let it set a bit till hard. Frost the top of a 'nother graham cracker like it was snowed on and glue it down to the top of the cracker trailer with more frostin'. sprinkle the whole dang thing with sugar while still gooey. Stick fancy candies around the yard and on the house. Stick the flag in the yard. Put yer hot wheels car in the yard or on a sugar block. Cracker Outhouse Couple of saltines, broke in half more frostin' Put together with frostin' glued edges like trailer, but make it taller than it is wide. Top with cracker bit.

A family Xmas tradition of Cotton and Crackers Lambeth and their kin in Virginia

1 Skunk
Potatoes
Carrots
Onions
Spices like you like (onion powder, garlic powder-if you paid rent and had leftover monies)
1 Cutting Board
Gut and skin the skunk.Stuff it with the vegetables and spices. Bake at about 250 -300 degrees a real long time, slow cookin' no? Until the skunk is real tender. When the skunk is cooked to your likin', take it out of the oven to set for about 15 minutes. Then, put the baked vegetables on a serving platter and Throw the Skunk Out!

A good heapin' of Tenda Bake Self-Rising Corn Meal Mix
1 fist size onion
Enough Buttermilk to get everything good an' juicy
Goodly size gob of grease or vegetable oil
Dump a good heapin' of cornmeal mix in a fairly decent-sized bowl. Grate onion into cornmeal mix. Set aside. Now, throw a pretty fair amount of shortening or oil into a big black iron frying pan. Heat until it's good and hot.(You will have to add more grease/oil as it usually soaks up alot of grease/oil when you are cooking several pans.) While your grease/oil is heating up, add enough buttermilk to cornmeal and oil mixture to make it soupy but not too runny. Simply spoon this mixture into the hot pan, turn after browning on first side and brown the second side. Let drain and serve either hot or cold. Goes great with collards, turnip greens and pinto beans.

1 30 oz. can of Libby's Pumpkin Pie Mix
2 9 inch Deep Dish frozen pie shells
1 1/2 c. sugar
1 teasp. salt
1 teasp. cinnamon
1/2 teasp. ginger
1/2 teasp. cloves
2 cans of Evaporated Milk
1 tablespoon of Pumpkin Pie Spice
2 eggs

Mix together all of the ingredients. Take the pie shells out of the freezer. Do not let them thaw. Pour mixture into the pie shells. ( There will be some mixture left over.) Place pies on a cookie sheet and bake till done.* * I have no idea what temperature to bake them on because my stove doesn't have the temperatures on it. I bake cakes at this same setting so go by whatever temperature you bake cakes. Pies are done when you place a fork or toothpick in the center of the pie and it comes out clean.